Let me start this post by clarifying something, as to avoid missunderstandings: i am super happy to be pregnant! i'm sooo looking forward to have a child, to nurture it and love it and become a better person because of that child.
Having said that, let's be honest: being pregnant sucks! I have had the worst 14 weeks of my life! A long time ago i had a very bad emergency operation with a lot of complications and i had to stay in the hospital for almost a month... well, i can honestly tell you, that i don't know which experience was worst. I had almost all side effects of pregnancy multiplied by 1000... am i exaggerating? maybe... but it was really bad.
- Fatigue: for about 2 months my day consisted of waking up (around 10), eating, doggy walking, napping (for about 3 hours), eating, doggy walking, spending some time with the hubs and going to sleep (around 9)... the worst part? i kept feeling sooo tired all the time!
- Pain: in the first months all the ligaments in your pelvis start to soften, as to give the baby enough space to grow. Sometimes they soften too much and that's not good... it hurts... a lot! I also had a hyperstimulation of both ovaries (because of the IVF), so i had a huge belly from the beginning because my ovaries were more than 10 cm in diameter! That is more than twice the normal size! They gradually returned to normality, but it took a lot of time and actually the right one is still a tiny bit bigger than normal. All this makes your abdomen super sensitive to touch and you have to be super careful not to turn too quick to either side. It's very painful.
- Hunger: I am (because i still am...) hungry ALL THE TIME! I eat around 6 to 7 small portions during the day and i still go to bed AND wake up in the middle of the night feeling famished...
- Digestive problems: One of the most common side effects and it brings a variety of problems, which i have had ALL in the first 2 months of pregnancy... not fun!
- Headaches: i suffer from migrane once in a while and i have learned to live with it, but! taking painkillers during pregnancy is really not recommended, mostly because you don't know what effects it could have on the baby, since most of these drugs have not been tested on pregnant women. The only ones that can be taken without much concern (but obviously still not in big quantity) are Aspirin and Paracetamol. I have a very high tolerance for pain and medication and these two don't even tickle my brain... I have taken Ibuprofen, but i still try not to.
- Weak bladder: I had to go to the bathroom more that 10 times a day! And that's only during the day! I got up at least 2 to 3 times more during the night!
- But the mother of all my problems was NAUSEA: OMG! i felt nauseated the whole day!!! it was really, really bad! the worst part? i did not puke... i don't like vomiting, but i think that in doing so you have at least a feeling of release... specially if you run to the bathroom about 5 times a day because you really think you're going to puke and nothing happens! well yes, you spit out a lot of saliva, your heart pumps like crazy, you have a hard time breathing, but other than that you just stand there and gag...
I'm sorry if all of this is disgusting to you, but it is the truth, that is how life works! I do believe that many women (including me) have this romantic idea of life, of how pregnancy is this happy, prefect, rainbow filled time where everything is beautiful and IT'S NOT! At least not for everybody, at least not all the time, specially in the beginning. All we think about is having a baby, but we don't realize all the changes that our bodies go through and sometimes it's really tough. For me, the first trimester was living hell! I was very depressed and felt just exhausted of being sick all the time!
That's why i started by stating that i'm happy to be pregnant because of course it's true! i just wish i would have known more about the whole process, about how a slight disfunction of hormones can make you a whole different person! Now i'm in week 17, so i have survived most of it. I still have some pain because of the growing uterus and problems with my pelvis, i'm still tired because of an iron deficiency and a very very low blood pressure (90/50, normal is around 120/80) and i still have nausea :-( luckily it's not all the time anymore, but i still feel it at least once a day.
The thing is, the moment you look at the screen of the ultrasound and for the first time you see your baby's legs kicking around, it's fingers flexing and touching it's face, it's tiny heart beating... in that moment your own heart just explodes! It's in that moment when you realize that everything, EVERYTHING you are going through is worth it... all the pain, all the discomfort... it all just doesn't matter anymore, because inside of you a new life is growing.